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Irie Irony on Wikipedia

I’m taking a Wikibreak. That this rather insignificant event should become breaking-news on my frequently-updated, hugely-popular, blog, should surprise no-one. After all, compared to our American friends planning another invasion, my comings, or rather goings, on Wikpedia, are clearly of paramount importance.

One of my final posts was perhaps wasted on Wikipedia, and has been compared by some to that other unrecognised masterpiece of irony, Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf.

They say you should be careful what you post, and certainly not when under the influence, as (in the words of the Violent Femmes) it goes on your permanent record. Well, I’ve messed up my record by posting the following on Wikipedia, so why not sully my name further and post it here. I’m about to run off to Nepal to spend 22 years on a mountaintop contemplating hot air anyway, so here goes…

My goodbye to Wikipedia… (so melodramatic I know – just a little break really)

Ernham wins the edit war

This just in. In a fantastic display of scholarly integrity, the esteemed Ernham has earned the right to write history. By constantly editing out those niggardly references he didn’t like, wittily smashing any editors who dared to disagree, Ernham has been declared the winner. Thanks to his stamina, it’s now quite obvious that the Herero genocide has no links with Holocaust, in spite of some foolish attempts to add references. References? Who needs them? Ernham has shown once and for all that all you need is stamina! In a masterly display, Ernham even removed a reference from a [[ fictional piece]]! Yes, the author had dared to make one of his characters make a comparison between the Herero geno, oops, I mean little skirmish caused by the nasty Herero. In the flick of the mouse, not only history, but fiction has been rewritten! Masterly Ernham, masterly!

It’s heart-warming to read how Ernham decided that the German public caused an outcry when they heard about von Trotha’s (not really genocide of course) tactics. Thanks to his good work, Ernham has shown that it’s quite obvious that the vicious Herero targeted innocent Germans. The cited reference is wrong, Ernham is right. Ernham too demonstrated that the German development aid minister didn’t actually say what she’s reported to say, and by reverting the insinuation he proved once and for all she didn’t say what she said. And if you disagree it’s all an Anglo-Saxon plot. By wearing down the annoying detractors with his stamina, Ernham has proved once and for all that He’s right! Congratulations Ernham on a fantastic display.

I award you the ‘Choose your own adventure’ prize for blindly sticking to truth no matter the facts.

In short, this article is pile of sh*te. But no-one else seems to care, so Ernham can write his own version of history, free of references, surrounded by posters of Steffi Graf and Michael Schumacher, free of nasty lying Anglo-Saxon brutes who’re behind a plot to rewrite history, (shame wikipedia, shame), nasty ‘so-called’ Herero daring to claim compensation, and so on. Goodbye.

And then I signed it for all to see.

Now what moron would post this nonsense on Wikipedia, that scholarly tome, under his own name? And then to his blog? It’s full of brilliantly subtle (well, I think so) references to Ernham’s other edit wars that anyone else will think are the ravings of a deluded mind. Clearly it rather belongs in the New York Times literary review.

Well, one who had way too little sleep last night, and is a little tired of trying to ‘fix’ a particular article, that’s who.

So, after shamefully getting involved in an edit war, and venting garbage all over the hallowed pages of the big W, it’s time for a break 🙂

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