Recently, IOL featured a story on the front page entitled Do kids crave discipline.
There’s anarchy in our schools! We need to bring back some discipline! In my day, I was beaten, and I’m OK! goes the thinking.
The article discusses the author’s experience of a bully who was put in his place by fear of the stick, and of children who fondly remember their .
In my last post I mentioned a saying, purportedly by Lao Tzu, that the best leaders are those who are not noticed. Then follow those who are praised, and those who are despised. Right at the bottom are those who are feared.
Using fear to rule children is one form of leadership. It’s an impoverished form, and is not part of a healthy society. Teachers and parents who cannot lead without resorting to fear should not be given carte blanche to do so. They should instead be helped to lead in a positive way.
When I was five, on one of my first days at school, the teacher told us not to talk. I opened my mouth. No words had yet come out, and the teacher was already telling me to get the ruler.
I received my punishment, and learnt my lesson well. I said barely a word until I left school twelve years later, and only made the connection between my silence and my lesson years later. In their eyes I was a model student. I watched the rule of fear, and never said a word. Stories of the infamous black mamba, said to leave scars for months, were spread, probably encouraged by the teacher in question. Teachers who told us our class was the most undisciplined they’d ever come across, and ‘declared war’ on us at age ten or eleven. Like most wars, not entirely fair, and again, like many wars, one that seemed to have been won easily, but never quite resulted in the desired outcome. Instead of the respect they craved, it left a lingering disgust, even if it may not have been verbalised in that way, even if the pupils ‘proudly’ showed their scars, even if ‘discipline’ was instilled.
Discipline and fear are not the same thing, and associating the two together is one of the great blindnesses of our time.
This is a fantastic post. I agree wholeheartedly!
I also find it incredibly interesting the idea that parents blame schools for ill-discipline, poor self discipline starts at how children are treated at home. But then with the strange relationship that the west tells us we should have with our kids, it is unsurprising that parents are so disconnected from the realities their children are living.
How about more love and critical understanding in our schools and homes?